Friday, June 23, 2006

Flying Domestic.

[Note: This blog is in context to Flying in India only.]

With the rise in income levels and low flight fares, Flying has become the in-thing. Airlines trying to out beat each other with fabulous offers starting from the Re 1/- ticket (getting this ticket however is a totally different ball game so let’s not get into that). At the rate it’s going very soon they may even start taking standing passengers like a bus.

Probably in a short time to come you may hear the airline executive tell you. ‘Sorry sir Business Class and Economy Class are full, however we do have the Rod Class if you like’. You go , ‘Great!! How many seats do you have in Rod Class?’ Uh.. no Sir there are no seats in the ‘Rod Class’ we can take as many standing passengers as long as its possible to close the aircraft door. But till then we have to stick to our seats.

Here’s how a typical experience would be on one of these domestic flights. You rush into the Airport get your boarding pass and complete your security check, and then you get showed to boarding area. Once you reach here there is a dramatic change in the environment. It appears like the rush hour is over and you have all the time in the world. Often staring at those typical revolving showcases with laptops and shirts pinned inside.

Then comes the long awaited announcement that flight xyz is ready for boarding. Within a split second Boom!! you have a line of about 15-20 people in the line. Where the hell did they come from? Where they para dropped ?? And what’s the big hurry? Your boarding pass has your seat number so no one’s going to sit on it anyways. Why are these people so concerned about reaching first? The reason is everyone wants to reach the overhead luggage rack first. Because no matter what the number or size of the baggage people assume It will fit in the Overhead rack. Who checks in baggage anyways? Checking in baggage is for wimps.

Who cares anyways the right thing is you join the line somewhere at the 20th position. Here’s why, on comes the fancy Airport Bus which will drop you from the terminal to the aircraft. By the time your turn comes to enter the bus all the seats are full and you have to stand by the door. Bus pushes off and reaches the aircraft. And Viola !!! You are the first person to get down from the bus and thereby the first one to enter the Aircraft, not the 20 smart people who were in the line ahead of you.

The scuffle for baggage space in the overboard compartment is over and everyone’s settled down. Except for the odd 1 or 2 people who always have to ping the airhostess for water to drink. Probably they would die if they don’t get their water before the plane can take off. At least one representative of this water-drinking club has to be there on every flight. That’s the rule.

Then comes the Hostess with a tray of candy or sweets whatever you call it. We now witness the next in-explainable thing. People go all out eagerly grabbing as many sweets as they can. What for I’ll never understand. Its not like she is distributing Swiss liquor chocolates or $75 per pound Donnelly's chocolate. C'mon People !!! these are ordinary sweets that you find at every other paan seller. What’s the big deal? If these people can afford the airline ticket what’s with these sweets? Can’t you get them anywhere outside? But that’s the way it is. Unless you grab the candy what’s the point of flying?

All this done we are ready for take off and the pilot announces some gibberish, which is almost incomprehensible. For some reason all pilots’ talk in a fumbled voice. Probably they teach this tone in flying school.

Time for landing, the seat belt signs are on and announcement for landing made. Then we have our representative from the ‘before landing must go to the loo’ club who suddenly wakes up and makes a dash for the rest room. Only to be sent back by the Airhostess. No sooner does the plan touch down. Everyone is on their feet rushing to get hold of their bags. Plane comes to a halt and the same story is repeated. But now you know the rule. i.e. let the others out of the plane and into the bus, You go at the right time such that you’re the nearest to the bus door. (However in case of an aerobridge this does not apply).

What a relief you have reached your destination.

-Cd




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You forgot the hostesses' indicating the air mask thing and also the path to the escape doors! That for me is the highlight of the trip. Especially I like the way some people pay serious attention to the drama as if they are going to follow the 'rules' if the plane goes down. And another thing regarding the candies. It's for the kids. Don't you see it? They take as much as they can and once they reach wherever they are going and give it to the kids in that place with the grand announcement 'See what Ram mama has got for you, Candieeees!!'. It will take a few years before the kid realizes these are the plane-candies :( (speaking from experiance;))

Anonymous said...

hey,
so u have 2 ppl reading this blog religiously ;) .....good article though....i was wondering if you could get me some candies , though :D
~V